When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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