Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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