I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
