the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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