just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
