glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
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I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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