I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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