If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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