can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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