I bet he comes in French.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
