if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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