is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
