Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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