I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I have feelings that need drinking.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
