Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  She went from zero to smokin in five shots

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  (303): She went from zero to smokin in five shots http://tfl.nu/1faz
  Replies (1) Good night (2053) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.

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  (832): If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs. http://tfl.nu/152p
  Replies (9) Good night (2281) Bad night (399) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...

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  (609): So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated... http://tfl.nu/17ul
  Replies (22) Good night (554) Bad night (5402) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.

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  (305): I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner. http://tfl.nu/42gn
  Replies (28) Good night (1648) Bad night (3383) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was

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  (402): All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was http://tfl.nu/p0yn
  Replies (13) Good night (7103) Bad night (885) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"

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  (604): You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band" http://tfl.nu/p9bm
  Replies (10) Good night (3486) Bad night (1020) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  he just came in and straightened the chair and left again

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  (905): he just came in and straightened the chair and left again http://tfl.nu/sy2j
  Replies (4) Good night (2400) Bad night (743) Order T-Shirt
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.

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  (289): Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger. http://tfl.nu/9mbe
  Replies (17) Good night (5221) Bad night (803)
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  (619): View more from California

  We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.

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  (619): We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend. http://tfl.nu/mtuw
  Replies (4) Good night (1871) Bad night (559)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?

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  (443): At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together? http://tfl.nu/40u8
  Replies (6) Good night (441) Bad night (1803) Order T-Shirt
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.

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  (985): Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world. (504): That's so nerdy and hot at the same time. http://tfl.nu/tw1i
  Replies (2) Good night (2311) Bad night (565)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.

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  (440): They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME. http://tfl.nu/kpqr
  Replies (5) Good night (1339) Bad night (496)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.

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  (804): Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me. http://tfl.nu/bct9
  Replies (4) Good night (1100) Bad night (339) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie

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  (719): That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie http://tfl.nu/8hsx
  Replies (1) Good night (283) Bad night (604) Order T-Shirt
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  (779): View more from Illinois

  I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs

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  (779): I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs http://tfl.nu/n819
  Replies (8) Good night (1933) Bad night (213) Order T-Shirt

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