Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We don't watch enough power rangers
You should frame my arrest warrant.