Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Do vagina's smell?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea