We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
