Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
