hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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