Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
