i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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