i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
