My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize