Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I smell stomach acid.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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