My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My vagina is officially offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize