Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
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