We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
