I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
How external is "for external use only"?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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