i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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