I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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