Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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