I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
