call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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