i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
