I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The uberlube is also flammable
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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