nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
