he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
