can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So much rum. So many feels.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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