dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
