i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
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We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
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thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize