Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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