is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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