If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
