In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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