I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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