I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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