i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
