Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
