we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
There's always time for handjobs
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize