For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
