you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
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