honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
