what day is it and did you see me today?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
