2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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