He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize