So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
