Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I woke up under a house in Key West
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
