ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
